


You're the Light (If Only for a Night)

by miss_alli



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Al Sah-Him!Oliver, Angst, F/M, Friends to Lovers, League of Assassins - Freeform, POV Felicity Smoak, POV Oliver Queen, Possessive Behavior, Russian Mafia, Slow Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-27
Updated: 2016-01-11
Packaged: 2018-05-09 19:52:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 18,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5553065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miss_alli/pseuds/miss_alli
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The task he was given was simple. </p><p>Find her. Watch her. Kill her.</p><p>But it's never that easy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is just something I wrote to pass the time of the hiatus! I only have a few more parts planned but hopefully you all like this first one! I just want to say that I don't really plan on going into detail with the League and Oliver's involvement. We'll learn some of his backstory but now much. I want to focus more on Felicity and how she plays a role in the story, especially with Oliver. 
> 
> Thanks so much and I hope you enjoy! Feedback is much appreciated! ;)

The task he was given was simple. 

Find her. Watch her. Kill her.

And he did.

He found her on a Tuesday night, nestled in her small apartment on the east side of town.

He observed her for thirty-seven days and what he discovered was rather average.

Her alarm goes off every morning at 5:30. She flicks her nightstand lamp on first and lays underneath the covers for a minute or so before flinging them off of her. If she lays there too long then it throws her whole schedule off and she ends up being late for work. 

Some mornings are easier than others and she’s ready for the day before it’s even time to leave. Those mornings she walks to work and picks up a medium sized coffee with two cream and three sugars. The barista, Joey, knows her order and has it ready for her by the time she reaches the register. He’s always a little too friendly, hinting here and there about meeting up sometime in the near future. For some reason she never accepts, making up excuses that are blatantly transparent. But it doesn’t deter his efforts, it makes them stronger in fact.

After the coffee shop she finishes the quarter mile walk to the Palmer Tech building. The security guard waves her in, not needing to see her ID any longer. She makes quick, polite conversation with him and leaves after making him promise that the day goes by fast. 

The rest of the morning is spent in her office down in the IT department. It’s more secluded from everyone else on the floor but it doesn’t stop people from popping in to say hello every hour or so. She only has a few close friends in the department and tries to have lunch with them as much as possible. But her days are usually spent in front of the computer, going over file after file of the new project Mr. Palmer had ordered. She’s not on the frontlines of it, rather the background, doing the heavier, more tidiest work. 

It’s always around eight o’clock when she begins to pack up. Everyone else has already gone and most of the floor is dark. She stuffs her tablet, phone and purse into her larger work bag and carefully slips on her jacket. It’s early January so the temperature isn’t exactly inviting outside. By this time of day it’s well below zero, the sun long gone which turns the outside a cold, barren wasteland. She bundles up tightly, bringing out the extra scarves and gloves as she prepares for her walk back. 

The neighborhood stationed around the Palmer Tech isn’t bad. It’s full of nightlife, restaurants and cafes as well as shops at every corner. But it’s only after a block or two when her building comes into view that she starts walking faster. Her fingers curl around the strap of her bag and her head instantly goes down, her chin hitting her chest as she walks. Sometimes she hums to herself, usually an overplayed pop song that everyone knows the words too. Most of the time though, she remains silent, focusing solely on the task of getting home.

Getting home  _ safely _ . 

Once she reaches her destination, she rushes through the door and uses both the regular lock and deadbolt to secure her apartment. 

By this time it’s reaching close to nine o’clock. After putting her jacket and work bag away she goes into her room to change into something more comfortable. The TV is already blaring in the other room with a cooking show that premieres every day at that time of night. When she comes out of the bedroom dressed the first commercial is already rolling and she proceeds into the kitchen. Instead of dinner, she pours herself a glass of red wine (always red) and grabs a pint of mint chocolate chip (always mint). She never finishes the wine though and only gets through half the pint before passing out along the couch.

And then it starts all over again.

He was ready on the first night, after watching her all day. His arrow was positioned tightly against him, his aim oozing perfection and his eyes trained on her small, moving form. But it was when she emerged from the bathroom, clad in pajama pants decorated with frogs and a pink tank top. There was something strikingly natural about her. Something so  _ normal _ , that it made him pause.

He’s never seen anything like it. Hell, when he first found her it took him aback. She wasn’t at all what he was expecting. But it was his job, his task to complete. So he pushed back all his doubts and remembered the orders he was given. That was enough to continue watching her.

It wasn’t enough, though, to let the arrow fly. 

She lazily rubbed her eyes, removing her glasses to set them on the nightstand. Before lifting the covers she paused by a picture on the dresser across the room. From where he was perched outside her window he couldn’t tell what it was. However it was significant enough to have her fight back tears as she crawled into bed. That night it took her longer to fall asleep than what could be considered as normal. Usually he leaves once she fell asleep in order to get some shut eye for himself before the day starts anew.  

That night, though, he stayed. She was restless and woke up periodically from what he assumed to be nightmares. After the third or fourth one she gave up and watched TV until her alarm went off an hour later. There was a foreign urge that crept up within him as he silently observed her struggle. A wanting, a  _ desire _ , to ease the pain. 

He couldn’t comprehend it and banished the thoughts just as quickly as they came. For the next week he simply watched her with no intent of drawing his bow. It was almost calming, observing her life, as he hid in the shadows behind her. He had forgot what normal was. He forgot what it was like to come home, unwind, and fall asleep to a favorite TV show. 

He had forgot.

And it was like a breath of fresh air remembering. 

So he stayed and watched Felicity Smoak, telling himself that he needed to find the right moment. Thirty-seven wrong moments passed and then everything went to hell.

It was at the office. She had just turned off the monitor and was slipping on her jacket when a noise sounded from the other end of the floor. It seemed like she brushed it off, shrugging her shoulders to herself as she packed up the rest of her belongings. He had found that those things didn’t phase her. A suspicious noise here and there didn’t have her hiding under the covers. But he didn’t buy it.

His eyes pulled away for half a second and suddenly her blonde head was being pulled back into the conference room nearby. Her scream echoed throughout the empty floor as the man held the blade against her pale neck. 

The world around him was suddenly spinning, his head clouding with thoughts. This is what he should want. The entire situation should be completely ideal. It takes care of everything he came here to do. The blood won’t be on his hands and yet the task is executed without anyone being the wiser. 

But his bow became loaded without him even realizing his actions. And then the arrow was whipping through the air, his movements quick and precise. 

Glass shattered.

Another arrow.

Then another.

Felicity fell to the ground, cowering as she crawled underneath the table. 

The man beside her lay dead, his mouth half open as blood dripped out the side of it. His eyes were wide and glassed over, as if the thought never occurred to him that his plan might go wrong. 

But he didn’t know Al Sah-Him. 

Once the life finally drained from the man’s eyes, Al Sah-Him swung in through the shattered window. His heavy boots landed flat on the shards of broken glass and his long black coat fluttered in the cold night air. He silently surveyed the floor surrounding him, his bow perched high against him as his eyes examined every nook and cranny. Finally, they settled on Felicity. She was still crouched under the table, arms over her head and legs pulled up to her chest. Blood was dripping down the side of her face and she was missing a heel. The deep blue of her dress was torn and as he made his way toward her he found a stray earring by a chair. 

He bent down to pick it up, choosing to approach her calmly. By giving something of hers back, he could establish a trust which would  make it easier for him to treat her. He had no idea what he was doing but all he knew was they couldn’t stay there. 

“Please don’t hurt me.” Her broken whisper made him pause, his hand still extended out with the earring. 

It was funny because that’s what he came to do. He was given her name, her face, and was told to let an arrow tear through her heart. Yet now he couldn’t bring himself to do it. All he wanted was for them to get as far away as possible. He didn’t know what to do after that point but he followed his instincts. And they were screaming at him to  _ leave _ .

“I won’t.” He said lowly, his voice rough and scratchy from going so long without talking. 

“You killed him.”

“He was going to kill you.” Al Sah-Him sighed. “We need to leave.”

Tears streamed down her face as her eyes roamed his features. His hood was mostly drawn, surely covering his nose and eyes. But his lips were exposed and she was looking straight at them like they were the window into his mind. So far, that’s all she knew of him. 

The bleeding from the top of her head continued more furiously and her eyes began to flutter. She fought to stay awake, words tumbling from her lips as he reached down to gather her up in his arms. 

They were gone before the first of the sirens began to sound.

 

-

 

Her head was  _ pounding _ . Something was stinging on her forehead and there was an ache deep in her muscles as she slowly became aware.

She was laying on a cold, medical table with a blue blanket draped over her waist down. The room was dark with little to no furniture besides the table and a window from somewhere behind her. She could feel the harsh breeze from the outside in addition to the sound of passing cars. A few horns blared every few minutes and she could see the reflection from the car lights against the walls. 

She froze at the sound of a door opening. 

Felicity gripped the side of the table tightly as she flew up in a sitting position. Her head whipped around to see the stranger standing in the doorway. He was still dressed in the same clothes from the office which made her think not too much time could have passed. 

The hood, though, was gone.

It wasn’t fair that this psycho, arrow wielding, black leather wearing killer/savior was undeniably...not bad looking. His eyes were a stark blue that reminded her of the ocean after a storm. Disheveled and stressed from the wreckage that passed yet completely still and calm. They weren’t the stone, cold, killer eyes that she had imagined them to be. It made her body relax slightly which seemed to be an invitation for him to enter the room.

He was carrying a glass of water and some bandages. Carefully he placed them beside where she sat, his eyes never connecting with hers. There were so many things she wanted to ask him, things she wanted just to say to fill the empty silence between them. She quickly wracked her brain for something but he beat her to the punch.

“Hold still.”

His left hand wrapped around her neck, making it impossible to move her head. A small spark of panic surged within her and he must have noticed it because his hand instantly slipped away.

“I’m not going to hurt you.”

Her wide eyes finally gazed back into his. 

“You hit your head when you fell. I’m going to do the final dressing on the wound.” He paused and looked down to her fidgeting hands in her lap. “Is that alright?”

Felicity nodded.

He proceeded, gathering the necessary supplies and returned his hand to its original place. The rest was done in relative silence. Every few minutes he would stop his work completely, stand, sweep the room and hallway and then return. It only dragged the process out and she couldn’t stop wincing. He was gentle and concentrated, his movements precise and controlled. But she was always partial to pain, never had a strong threshold for it. She was the type of person to put a band-aid around a paper cut because it stung too much. 

And now she was sure she had a pretty sizeable gash on her forehead. She could still smell the blood that was smeared against the side of her face. It made her dizzy. 

“You’re pale.” He stated, eyes moved briefly to her cheeks and then back up to the wound. His fingers moved over the bandage gently before pulling away. 

“Thanks,” Felicity murmured, swallowing back the bile rising up in her throat. “For pointing that out, thanks.”

The man pushed the chair he was sitting in back and grabbed the glass of water. He held it out in front of her and waited until she took it from him to move. She studied it briefly, not entirely sure if she should be accepting drinks from strangers. But she figured if he really wanted to do any harm to her it would have been done already. Plus he saved her from the crazy, blade wielding maniac at Palmer Tech. 

Before he could make a comment about her hesitation she took a large gulp. It was tepid and had an aftertaste that made her nose scrunch up unpleasantly. Felicity continued to drink it nonetheless and quietly thanked him, placing the glass back down beside her.

“Blood and wounds aren’t really my thing.” She finally said.

He handed her a damp cloth. “You can use this to clean up.”

“I look that bad?” 

“It was just a suggestion.”

“More like a demand.”

The stranger turned around and headed for the door. Before he was completely out of sight she could see the remnants of a smile lingering on his lips. It felt like an accomplishment somehow.

“I’ll be back, don’t leave this room.”

“Is this some hostage/kidnapping situation?” She asked him. “Why am I here?”

The man paused in the doorway, hesitating briefly before turning back around to face her. He didn’t speak right away and instead studied her face. It seemed like he was searching for what to say, as if he didn’t have all the answers right then. She figured she wasn’t going to get much out of him and began to clean the blood from the side of her face. 

He chose that time to answer.

“I’m trying to keep you safe.” 

“I don’t understand.”

“I don’t need you to.”

Felicity sighed, running a hand through her matted, tangled hair. She pulled out a few bobby pins stuck on the top of her head from the up-do she tried yesterday. She was going for a more sophisticated look and couldn’t stop looking at herself in the mirror that morning. Now she’ll probably never try something like that again.

“When can I go home?”

“Whenever you feel you’re ready to.”

She raised an eyebrow at him suspiciously. He had his arms crossed over his broad chest right now, looking at her with an unamused expression on his face. His eyes were soft though, contrasting sharply with the rest of his body. They were what made her feel comfortable talking. The eyes always showed the truth about someone, forever being the window to the soul.

“You’re joking.”

The man stepped further into the room, abandoning his initial task in the hallway. “Do I look like I’m joking?”

“I just don’t understand.”

“You’ve said that.”

“And yet you’re not explaining anything to me.”

“Because I don’t need you to understand any of this.”

“But you saved me.”

“I did.”

“And you brought me back to your secret hiding place-”

“It’s not secret.”

“Then tell me where we are.”

He took another step closer to her and licked his lips slowly. There was a glint in his eyes that she hadn’t seen so far. It reminded Felicity of her mother. She’d get that same look whenever Felicity was on a rant, like she couldn’t believe she was still talking. The disbelief strikingly evident upon her features. 

“We’re two miles from your apartment.”

Her heart stopped and the room slowly began to spin. 

_ We’re two miles from your apartment. _

_ Your apartment. _

He knew where she lived. This stranger, this man, who saved her life and stitched up her face knew where she lived. 

Her eyes moved frantically around the room which was getting increasingly warm. She could feel her neck and cheeks flush and a clamminess set on her palms. There was an instinct in her stomach telling her to run, to run as far away from this man and never look back. 

She finally made eye contact with the man and he was relatively calm. He looked like he knew exactly what he had implied, meant to in fact and was waiting for her to settle. 

“You know where I live.” She stated and her eyes finally connected with his.

He nodded.

“Who are you?”

“I can take you home now.”

Anger flared within her and she furiously hopped off the table. “Tell me who you are.”

He swallowed hard and the muscles in neck constricted. The light of the lamp in the corner of the room flickered and the sound of a car horn echoed throughout the room. She wanted answers, she wanted to know what the hell was going on. 

She wanted the fuck out of there.

“If we’re really as close as you say we are I’m leaving. I don’t know what this is or who you are but  _ don’t _ follow me.”

She took the remainder of her things from the table and rushed through the door out into the hallway. As soon as she made it outside the surroundings were immediately familiar. Her favorite corner store was across the street and she could see the Palmer Tech building if she strained her neck. 

Relief spread through her and she took off running down the sidewalk. The cold air burned her lungs and the rough pavement smacked against her heels painfully. She tried focusing on just getting home, blocking out everything else around her. This time of night wasn’t exactly the safest and there was still a dull ache in the back of her head. For a moment her vision blurred and she had to stop running altogether.

Her chest was heaving and she rested her hands on her thighs to take a deep breath. Then a paralyzing fear crossed her mind. Could she even go home? This man would just follow her back and God knows what would happen then. She doesn’t know his motives and didn’t stick around to ask too many questions. She left before he could get out a tangible answer from him. 

A sound coming from a nearby alley stirred Felicity from her thoughts. She moved a stray curl from her line of sight to see two men with their backs to her. They were whispering, their hushed tones echoing throughout the expanse of the alley. She was so enamored with them that she barely heard the third member of the group sneak up behind her. It was only when his hand snuck on her waist and cool metal of a gun pressed to her side that she let out a shrill scream. 

“Shut up,” The guy said, “Or I’ll blow your fucking brains out.” He placed his hand over her mouth and began to drag her back into the alley. 

She could see the other two men waiting in the shadows, sly smiles on their faces as they took in their next victim. The guy handling the gun tossed her onto the concrete. It felt like ice and scraped the palms of her hands, making her softly whimper when trying to sit up.

The two men were beginning to advance on her when an arrow flew straight past her and into one of their chests. He fell next to her with loud groan and his hand came up to curl around the thin piece of metal. But before he hand a chance three more struck him and he laid still.

When she looked up next the other two men were on the ground. All of them bore arrows in their chests and there were puddles of blood beneath them. The copper smell invaded Felicity’s senses quickly and she found herself getting woozy from the sight. 

Not surprisingly a few feet away stood the man from before. The crazy, psycho, arrow wielding savior who she ran out on was surveying the rest of the alley. He pointed his arrow up to the buildings surrounding them, making sure there were no other stragglers before securing it on his back. His stance was tense and rigid, his eyes were hard and his hands were clenched in fists.

She felt the tears bubbling up in her eyes as she stared up at him. Her hands were tremulous as she fought to sit up and every bone in her body ached. The cold air was biting at her raw skin and she was pretty sure there was no coming back for the dress either. Everything was covered in blood and if it wasn’t then it was already torn to shreds. 

Looking up at the man, seeing murder in her eyes, she felt like surrendering. Maybe he was here to finally finish her off. Maybe it was his plan all along. 

She just didn’t care anymore. There was no energy left in her.

As the tears began to stream down her face she finally spoke. “Just do it, okay? Whatever you want from me, take it, I don’t care.”

There was a soft sigh, the wind picked up and she closed her eyes. Just as she did the ground disappeared beneath her and strong arms wrapped around her midsection and legs. She was being carried bridal style up the alley and down the street she was previously on. The bodies remained in the shadows, the smell of their blood still resonating strongly with Felicity. 

She fought to get out of his restraints but it was no use. He continued to carry her down the street until they reached the stairs of her apartment building. He set her down, placed the keys to her home in her hand and directed her to the door. 

Felicity spun around to face him, getting slightly dizzy in the process but ignoring it. “What are you doing? What is this?” She shook her keys and then motioned to the space between them.

He remained silent.

“Why did you follow me? Why did you bring me home? What the hell are you doing?”

Again no answer. 

Felicity groaned, running a hand through her hair angrily. “You frustrate the hell out of me.” She figured if he wasn’t going to say anything then she might as well go on. “Like don’t get me wrong, I’m all grateful for you saving me twice, but first of all I never asked for it.” He raised an eyebrow at her. “Second of all I’m pretty sure you’re a stalker which I can have you arrested for.” He scoffed. “And you killed people which is another offense. So either give me some answers or-”

“Or what?” He finally said. “You’ll runaway for help? Like that worked out so well for you last time.” He was invading her personal space again, far too close for her comfort.

“I never asked for this! I never asked to get kidnapped, or saved, or taken care of, or saved again. I don’t know what your deal is but I don’t want any part of it.” She reached for the door, unlocked it swiftly, had one foot in-

“You are though, whether you like it or not.”

 

-

 

He was standing in her living room, feeling like a giant among the small layout of the apartment. It was different watching inside than from outside. He thought he knew this place so well, like the back of his hand from his sojourn here. But there were nooks and crannies he failed to see and pieces of the home he never got to explore. 

Felicity had asked him to come in after his slip earlier. He hadn’t known where it came from, maybe it was the pent up frustration he was holding in for most of the night. From his observations through the past month he would have never guessed such a stubborn nature existed within that woman. She craved knowledge and seemed used to getting what she wanted. Felicity had all the power at her fingertips, could retrieve answers within seconds if she so desired. And his tight lips drove her up a wall.

So when she finally received something close to an answer, she wasn’t going to let him get away. 

“I’m going to trust you.” She had said, pointing her finger directly at his chest. “For ten minutes I’ll trust you and then I want you out.”

She told him she wanted to get changed, wash the dirt and grime off herself from the past few days. 

“It’ll only take a few minutes.”

That was twenty minutes ago. He knew he had nothing to worry about and wasn’t concerned about her prolong time in the slightest. He knew how she got after stressful days and figured she was seeking some refuge in the hot steam of the shower. 

When she emerged a while later, he was astounded by the normalcy she reflected. Despite her ordinary persona there was also a uniqueness that shined about her. From the cow printed pajama bottoms to her lime green toe nails, he knew there was no one else like her. 

She was wearing her hair down, still damp from the shower she just took. It was already beginning to dry and a curly frizz was developing on the ends. She was sporting a MIT t-shirt which was a pale grey, highly contrasting with her bottoms. At first she hadn’t noticed him and seemed to almost forget he was there. But then her eyes focused and she rubbed them a little, removing the glasses that sat upon her nose. The frames were thick and black, something he thought brought out the color of her eyes more than anything. 

He quickly shook his head, removing the thoughts just as swiftly as they came. This was business and he had to remind himself that what a risk this all was. She should be dead. This mission should be over.

Instead she was asking him if he wanted a glass of water.

Perfectly healthy.

Perfectly safe.

“Hey, Mr. Arrow, are you listening to me?”

“Don’t call me that.” He shot back, instantly disliking the name. 

“Well if you were to give me a name then I wouldn’t have to resort to mine.”

He didn’t respond.

Felicity sighed. “Do you want something or not?”

He shook his head.

“Fine.” She reached up to the top cabinet and pulled out a large glass. He noticed her pained wince as she lowered her heels back to the ground. She stretched out her hand briefly before walking to the sink for water.

He wanted to make sure she was alright and could see the developing injuries along her body. Some were obvious while others, he knew, were forming underneath. There were dark circles below her eyes and she yawned three times while making her way over to the couch, limping may he add.

“Before we talk,” he said, “I need to know if you’re alright.”

Her eyes narrowed at him which he didn’t understand. He was trying to help her and was willing to immediately tend to them. And she was throwing him snide remarks.

“I’m not going to break. I can handle a few bruises.”

“If you think I’m implying you’re weak then you’re wrong.”

Felicity crossed her arms over her chest. “I want to know why you know where I live.”

He was already way past the edge. But there was no going back after this. Once it was out he would have to figure out a plan and redirect the entire situation. She couldn’t know everything but the logistics and nobody ever said anything about that.

“I was sent here.”

Her eyes widened slightly and then returned to normal. She swallowed hard. “To do what?”

The next answer would probably get him thrown out. “Terminate you.”

She got up instantly, hands up in her defense with her chest already heaving. “What the fu-”

“Hey,” he whispered and stood up along with her. He shot his arm around his back and untangled the bow from its strap. Gently he placed it on the coffee table and held his hands up with hers. “Let me explain.”

“No, no I don’t want-”

He continued despite her request. “I was assigned to you a few months ago. My mission was to watch you and kill you, to use your weaknesses against you. But I didn’t. I...I couldn’t.”

Felicity eyed him carefully. He could see her going back and forth in her mind, weighing all her options. Finally she seemed to relent a little and her arms returned to her sides. She remained standing though and licked her lips before speaking.

“Who are you? Who told you to do that to me?” She shook her head, trying to come to terms with it. “Why did they pick me?”

“Felicity-”

She wasn’t phased with his knowledge of her name. Instead her anxiety took over and she let her mouth run. “I’m no one, I swear. I haven’t done anything wrong. I mean there was this one time in high school I went to this party because my friend Ally wanted me to go. But I didn’t drink or try whatever drug they were all high on that night. I’ve never gotten a speeding ticket even though there was that one time with the parking ticket. But that wasn’t even my fault!” She ran a hand through her damp hair and let out a ragged breath. “I remember I stole someone’s parking spot a few months ago. I was in a hurry that day and needed to pick up the sandwich platter for the meeting. But is that enough for someone to want to kill me? Would they really go so far as to-”

His next move was bold but he placed his hands on her shoulders. Hoping the action would ground her more he looked up into her eyes, saying her name softly. For a moment his mind sort of froze and all he could focus on was the sensation of her skin beneath his hands. He didn’t remember the last time he’s touched someone, let alone a woman. The material of the t-shirt was softer than he had originally suspected and he was amazed by it. His clothes have always been durable and tight to fit underneath the armor and suits. They were never comfortable. They were meant to keep you up all night, so you were alert. There job was not to  _ sooth _ .

“It was nothing you did.” He let go on her and took a step back. “None of this was your fault.” His eyes focused on the vase of wilting flowers on the countertop. She was an innocent. She never did anything wrong. She’s had a perfect record her whole life. 

That’s how they all were. All the lives he took, every arrow through the heart, they were all pure. He never had a choice though. It was kill or be killed. Kill or everyone you love  _ dies _ . He did what was necessary to survive. And if it meant a few lives every now and then he could live with that. Over time they just turned into numbers, just another name on an endless list. He became accustomed to their cries for help, their pointless pleas of saving their lives. Like they were actually worth something. And he was sure they were. Every life had meaning. 

But his sister’s meant more.

His  _ family’s  _ meant more.

So when the League gave him a name, when they asked him to jump, he notched the arrow and asked how high.

Why was Felicity the last straw? Why couldn’t he keep going on the way he was? She might be the easiest job he’s ever had. It’s out of the country work, a break from the confinements of the camp and he was given a year’s time to perfect the kill. It was an important kill, something that’s been planned since the moment of Felicity’s birth. To be given the kill was a true honor even though Al Sah-Him didn’t see it that way. 

“Who should I blame then?” Felicity whispered, looking somewhat defeated. Her shoulders were slouched towards him and she had her hands clasped together. She was picking at her nails, the pale blue nail polish chipping away as one finger scraped against the other. 

“I can’t tell you everything right now.” He said.

He wasn’t expecting relief to wash over her face. But it seemed her all too knowledgeable brain didn’t want anymore tonight. 

“Will you though? Another day?” She yawned in the middle of her sentence, arms stretching up to the ceiling. 

“I can’t guarantee anything. The more you know the more danger you’ll likely be in.”

Felicity pursed her lips and crossed her arms over her midsection. She rocked back on her heels, eyes rolling around the room until finally falling back on him. 

“You’re not going to kill me though?”

“No.” He response was immediate.

“I don’t know why I trust you.” She said, mostly to herself. “I have no reason to besides the fact that you saved my life. But since you originally came here to kill me it sort of negates all of that.”

“I swear to you,” he said softly, “I’m not going to kill you.”

“But you’re not going to leave, are you?”

“That’s not an option, no.”

Felicity nodded. “Will you come back tomorrow and tell me more?”

He hesitated, thinking about his earlier statement. Letting Felicity into his world wouldn’t benefit either of them. It’d only drag him further down the grave he had already dug for himself. But he couldn’t find it in himself to say no. There was something pulling him to her. It was what made him come back each night and what more importantly kept his arrow at bay. The better part of him was screaming to decline her request, to leave her now and go back to the shadows. It’s where he belonged. Not in the light of her life. 

Yet he found himself agreeing nonetheless.

Before leaving she thanked him. He was halfway out the window, the lights of the living room fairly dimmed, when her small voice called out to his retreating form. He wasn’t sure what the thank you encompassed completely but it was genuine and by the way she was holding herself he guessed a lot. 

He never responded to her and slipped out the window into the night.

 

-

 

For the next week the man came to Felicity’s home every night. It was always around the time she was cleaning up from dinner. Her arms would be elbow deep in the sink scrubbing dishes and there’d be three distinct taps on her living room window. After a while she’d wait until he arrived to start cleaning up so she wouldn’t be interrupted. 

The man didn’t seem to mind either. He’d wait patiently in the living room, staring blankly at the TV (which he refused to turn on) and sitting extremely rigid on the couch. Mostly, though, he’d stand and pace, always seeming to be on edge about something. But when she was finally finished and asked what was bugging him he brushed it off. 

For their conversation she’d settle them on the couch. The TV would be put on silent and she would get them each something to drink. He never touched his but she kept bringing them, hoping he’d accept the small peace offering. 

The first night she was undeniably nervous. She kept fidgeting, shifting from side to side on the couch as he answered whatever questions she threw at him. They were mostly simple. Where he’s from, did he go to school, if he has any siblings. The last one seemed to strike a chord with him and he mumbled out an intangible answer. But one question in particular that night drove him up a wall.

“What’s your name?” She had asked, taking a sip of her water as she watched his face.

“Al Sah-Him.”

She nearly spat out her water. “What?”

He looked somewhat offended and repeated it again but more tentatively. “Al Sah-Him.”

“What’s your real name?”

“My name is Al Sah-Him.”

Felicity’s eyes narrowed. “It should be Stubborn.”

“That’s my name. I don’t understand your issue with it.”

“It’s an okay name. It just doesn’t seem like you.”

He quirked an eyebrow. “And you know me?”

“Obviously not.” She said. “But you look more like a...Ben or maybe a Darrin. I could even see Conrad on you.”

The man’s nose scrunched up in distaste followed by a subtle smile as she continued on in her list. She found herself enjoying the warmth that came from him as she rattled off more names. He would laugh every now and then, sometimes outright at the more ludicrous ones. 

“What about Neil? C’mon don’t look at me like that I need to be able to call you something.”

After a few more minutes he seemed to finally relent. His features grew more serious, the lines on his forehead hardening as he leaned closer to her. She could feel his hot breath ghost past her cheek as he took the few seconds to decide what he was going to say. But she’d never regret the question which led to answer she was finally given. 

“I’ve never met a person so obsessed with names before. Then again I’ve never met anyone quite like you.” She’d never get tired of the sound of his voice. At these times it sounded so carefree, so effortless and smooth as he spoke. There was something warm about it she wished it’d never stop. Pity she did most of the talking. “You have to promise, though, that once I tell you my name you can never speak it.”

She wanted to ask him why but a yawn escaped her lips. Her eyes were growing tired and all she wanted to do was go to bed. Their time was nearing the end and she figured he did this on purpose. They weren’t able to cover any real ground that night, too focused on his identity to discuss much else. At least she got something out of it.

“I promise.”

“My name’s Oliver.”

She pulled away slightly and her eyes flickered up to his. “I like that way better than Al Sah-Him.”

He chuckled lowly, nodding his head in agreement. Not long after he stood up, smoothing the material of his suit down as she followed his lead. He quickly said goodnight and headed for the window. 

The rest of the night she couldn’t get his name out of her head. She wondered why she wasn’t allowed to say it out loud. Was it dangerous? Did he not like it? Did it go against some code he was under? She was thinking it was probably the first one but hoped it was either of the next to. 

Tonight she wanted to talk more about the danger. All the other nights she learned things about Oliver. He was a member of a group whose name was classified but they weren't exactly the best of people. He joined because of his sister, to keep her safe and  _ alive _ . Oliver stressed the words many times throughout his story, almost like he was trying to tell her something without actually saying it. That part stumped her more than the others. After that he went on to tell her he’s been with the group for about ten years. He looked to be in his late twenties so she guessed about eighteen. It saddened her that he was corrupted at such a young age. He never got to go to college or have a real life like everyone else. 

But she wanted to know how she tied into it all. Why was she so important?

She was walking out of her bedroom, clad in her pajamas, when the three taps sounded on the window. She didn’t know when they came up with his code for that but it worked. Quickly she went across the living room and slid open the window, stepping aside so he could get through. 

“You should really keep that locked.” Oliver said once he was inside. He brushed off some of the snow on his shoulders and stomped his boots on the rug.

“You should really come through the  _ door _ . I just had to go buy carpet cleaner because of you.”

He didn’t seemed phased by the statement and waked to the couch. “Dishes tonight?” He asked.

“Nope. I picked up some Chinese from that place down the street so no dishes needed.”

Oliver nodded.

“I have some leftover do you want any?”

It was the first time she offered him something to eat. Not surprisingly he shook his head, taking his usual place on the couch and proceeded to wait. She huffed out a sigh and followed him, grabbing the green blanket that was hanging off the arm of the couch.

“Are you cold?” He asked.

“I’m always cold.” She said casually, waving it off as she prepared to ask her first question. “It’s no big deal.”

“Alright.” His eyes scanned her face and his lips ticked upwards slightly. “Go ahead, ask whatever it is you’re dying to ask.”

“You probably won’t like it.”

“I’ll deal.”

Felicity pressed her lips together. “I want to know why.” She didn’t have to elaborate any more than that. Frankly she didn’t want to. The dark look was already taking over his features and if she spoke anymore about it she was afraid she’d tell him to forget about it. But she wasn’t going to back down even if it was going to be like pulling teeth to get it out of him.

“Felicity,” he dragged her name out by each syllable and it came out like a sigh. He shifted on the couch, clasping his hands together and avoiding all possible eye contact. 

“I deserve to know.”

“Not if it costs you your life.”

Felicity narrowed her eyes. “My life? Seriously? Don’t you think you’re being a little dramatic?”

Oliver instantly stood up. The material of his suit stirred up the cold air in the room making Felicity wrap the blanket around herself tighter. She watched him begin to pace, his hands clasped tightly behind his back and a scowl now fixed on his face. 

She didn't understand why it was such an issue. No one was here besides them, no one would know. They were... _ she... _ was perfectly safe.  He had nothing to worry about.

Oliver spun towards her suddenly, his eyes dark as he looked down on her. “You don’t understand.” He said quietly. “Once you know this information there’s no going back. You’ll never be the same.”

Felicity stood to meet his gaze. “Do you think I can’t handle this? Like I’m weak or something?”

“It has nothing to do with that. All I’m asking is for you to consider. Once you know, your life will irrevocably be changed. You’ll be forced into a world that up until now you never knew existed.”

“What’s so dangerous about knowledge? Wouldn’t that make me safer?”

“It’d make you a target.”

Felicity swallowed hard and took a deep breath. “Tell me.”

Oliver squeezed his eyes shut and looked away from her as if she burned him. He ran a hand through his hair and sighed, shaking his head. “Your father left you and your mother when you were young, correct?”

If she was expecting anything to come out of his mouth, that wasn’t even on Felicity’s list. Her whole body stilled, her eyes wide and heart racing as he continued.

“Well whatever reasons you conjured up in your mind over the years as to why he left are wrong. He had his reasons that are beyond you or your mother’s understanding.”

A hot anger flared up within her and she crossed her arms over her chest. Who the hell does he think he is? He knows  _ nothing _ about what she went through or what her mother went through when her father left. She barely remembers him and glad she doesn’t. She never knew what she was missing that way.

“What are you trying to say?”

He studied her carefully, taking a tentative step forward. There was some hesitation at first, his mouth opening and closing a few times before he spoke. “I don’t have to tell you. We can figure everything out, I’ll keep you safe and you’ll never have to know. Everything will work out.” He bent his head, his lips skimming her ear and she shivered. “You don’t have to burden yourself with this knowledge, Felicity. I know you’re strong, you have nothing to prove.”

Felicity lifted her chin higher and angled her body slightly away from him. “I want to know everything.”

Oliver sighed but nodded his head. “Your father is the Captain of a Russian Bratva group, the mafia basically. Long story short, you’re his daughter and he hasn’t exactly been making allies all these years. He’s a ruthless leader, incredibly fierce in his tactics which is one of the reasons his reign has lasted for so long. However his efforts to hide you from his world, although great, weren’t enough. It’s why I found you so easily. Obviously he cares for you which is why he tried to keep you safe. But you and your mother are great bargaining chips and there are millions of dollars for your heads. Anything to get back at Michael.”

Felicity felt the bile rise up in her throat. The room was spinning slightly and she had to steady herself on him to keep from falling over. She wouldn’t admit that maybe it was better not to know. Ignorance, they said, was always bliss and she was beginning to miss it. She didn’t know how to process anything of what she was told. Half of what he said she didn’t understand and the other half made her want to vomit. Her hold on Oliver’s arm was tight but one thing in particular was resonating with her. 

“His name’s Michael?”

Oliver’s eyes were filled with a concern she had never seen directed towards her before. He was hesitant and extremely cautious when he placed his hands on her hips to steady her. She tried to ignore the bolt of electricity that shot through her at the contact. But it was comforting somehow and her heart rate began to slow down. 

He nodded slowly and hummed out an answer to her question. It sounded low and throaty, making gooseflesh appear on her arms. Thank God he didn’t notice.

“So there’s more people out to kill me?”

“Felicity-”

“And my mother too? Has he done anything for us? How do I know if she’s safe? I should call her.” She broke out from his hold and searched frantically around the room for her phone. What if she was too late? What if they were already there? What if-

“Felicity.” Oliver’s hand grabbed her arm. “ _ Hey _ ,” he whispered. “It’s okay. We’ll figure it out.”

She licked her lips slowly, turning her head away from him. She didn’t want to him to see the tears that were surely beginning to well up. “How?”

He swallowed hard but his grip never loosened. “I don’t know yet. But I won’t let anything happen to you.”

She took that moment to face him completely, all red and puffy eyed. The declaration struck her hard because he seemed so sure of it, like he never considered failing as an option. He would keep her safe and that would be it. And she believed him instantly, no doubt crossing her mind as whether or not he would be able to. She just didn’t understand why. Why her? Why stick around? Why tell her  _ everything _ ? 

More importantly why did she trust him so much? Why was she so invested with a stranger? She’s known him for what? A week? Maybe a few days more than that? She shouldn’t be so willing. She should be stronger than that. 

But the thing was...trusting him made her feel stronger. Invincible almost. There was some control when it came to Oliver. 

She had never felt anything like it.

Felicity looked around the room and sighed, the exhaustion hitting her hard. It seemed Oliver was waiting for an answer or a response of some sort. Honestly she didn’t feel like talking any longer. She didn’t want to think but she didn’t want him to leave either.

“Do you want to watch a movie?”

Apparently that wasn’t what he was expecting her to say at all. His eyes widened slightly, confusion crossing his features briefly before he nodded his head. There was some uncertainty in his movements again like earlier but not so much as he settled in on the couch with her. Felicity took the blanket and draped it across both of them. Oliver insisted he didn’t need it though and gave his half to her. She didn’t put up a fight and instead flicked on the TV, keeping the volume on low and tuning in to a Hallmark movie.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the next part! It took me forever to write because nothing ever seemed to be right. But here is the final product so I hope you enjoy. This one is mostly Felicity but we'll here Oliver's side next chapter for sure. 
> 
> Enjoy and feedback is much appreciated as always! :)

A few weeks passed and neither of them brought up the information regarding Felicity’s father. They set up a routine with each other that Oliver quickly took a liking too. 

He continued keeping an eye on her throughout the day. Despite Felicity’s protests that she would be fine, Oliver didn’t let up. Although he toned it down slightly, he never let her out of his sight while she went to work. His surveillance from before was still in tact and he was able to watch her carefully from a nearby building. The video feed was running fine as well as the bugs he had set up in her office. She currently wasn’t aware of those which he was fine with. He knew as soon as she did they’d be ripped out and crushed without so much as a word. 

But when her work day was completed he’d follow her home, already waiting at her doorstep before she arrived. They got into the habit of spending their nights together. When she first referred to it as that he remembered his heart racing, knowing exactly what that implied. Apparently Felicity did too and her efforts to refute it made him wonder when was the last time he had ever laughed so hard.

“By spending the night together I meant platonically. Not like sweaty and in bed together kind of nights because that’s just... _ no _ . Not that it’d be a bad thing because you’re well...you’re  _ you _ and definitely not ugly. But! We’re not doing that, that isn’t what we’re doing. We’re just having dinner and watching TV...totally platonic. Nothing to worry about.” She was out of breath by the time she was done, cheeks completely flared red and eyes bugged out of her head. “Why don’t you stop me?” She had asked right before going into the kitchen to dish out the food.

He looked forwards to their nights every day. Sometimes he would go back to his place and change into something a little less threatening. He’d still come prepared with all his gear, never without his arrow in case anything happened. He didn’t like to be taken off guard and was always ready for an attack. One night she made a comment about it which made him start dressing more casually in the first place.

“Don’t you own jeans or something? Isn’t it uncomfortable always being in that bullet proof mesh stuff?” Her mouth was filled with Lo Mein, the noodles and vegetables filling her whole plate. She was twirling them around on her fork while balancing the plate steadily on her lap. It was just after seven that night, one of the few times she got out early, and she was particularly chatty.

He was standing in the kitchen, getting himself a napkin when she asked the question. That night he was clad in his League uniform, the black cloak and all. Most of his weapons were concealed and he had his bow strapped to his back. No, he wasn’t comfortable but again they weren’t meant to make him feel all warm and fuzzy. They were to help him survive. 

“I know you like to be prepared and stuff but it’s just my apartment. You can still bring all your ninja weapons but you don’t have to dress like that.” She stuffed a few more noodles in her mouth. “Unless you want to then knock yourself out. I’m just saying you don’t have to.”

The next few nights he wore his uniform again, not comfortable wearing anything else. He had casual clothes for more of the undercover work he had to do. When he was originally following her he’d go into the streets, blending in amongst the busy morning crowd. But he hadn’t used them since the night at the office. They were stored away in his drawers, left completely forgotten until she had spoken up. It took him a couple more nights until he actually had the courage to change into them.  

And he was glad he did.

That night he figured if he was attempting at being normal, he might as well come in through the  front door. It took him a few tries before he finally knocked three times and anxiously waited for her to come. For some reason it took longer than it should have for her to answer. After the first minute he was ready to knock down the door altogether without a second thought. But when he knocked again she opened it right away with a reaction that was priceless.

She was dressed in her usual printed pajamas and oversized t-shirt. However her hair was still done from work and she was wearing the feather earrings that hovered right above her shoulders. He could see the remnants of her makeup smeared underneath her eyes and her lips were still a bright red. It was oddly erotic to see her like that and he swallowed hard before he spoke. Although the tremor in his voice nearly gave everything he was feeling away.

“Hey.”

He saw her swallow hard, her eyes slightly wider than normal. She mumbled out a reply, flashing him a shaky smile as she moved to let him in. The rest of the night she kept eyeing him, down right staring at him really. 

He couldn’t have been happier. 

From then on he came in his “casual clothes”, coming through the door and for once, being completely normal. He felt like he did all those years ago. It was like coming home after a long trip. Everything was the same, nothing changed, and yet he missed it so much. It felt new and still so familiar. And it wasn’t just the clothes. It was Felicity. Her home. How she made him feel. For the little time he spent with her he could forget about the League, about Thea...about everything he had done. For those few hours it was as if none of it ever existed. 

Tonight, although he wanted to keep their theme of “causal”, there had to be some things discussed. The topic of her father had been on the back burner long enough and they had to come up with some sort of plan. He had no idea what it would be or what it even should be. But the longer his stay progressed with Felicity the more likely they were to be in danger. It couldn’t be ignored anymore.

 

-

 

She was halfway into her conversation with her mother when a knock sounded at the door. It occurred three times and she instantly knew it was Oliver. But she didn’t have the energy to actually get up and answer the door.

This should be good.

“Come in!”

“Felicity?” He called once he was inside. 

She was waiting for some snide remark about the door being unlocked. Honestly she forget he was even coming over, everything slipped from her brain once her mother called. It drained her so much she could barely stand while talking.

He found her sitting cross legged on the floor below the stove. She had the phone pressed between her ear and shoulder as she cradled a glass of wine against her chest. She was nodding solemnly, her lips slightly pursed as she swirled the red liquid around in her glass. One look at her and you could tell she wasn’t happy. How could she be when she was listening to this  _ crap _ ?

Oliver leaned against the doorframe of the kitchen, arms crossed over his shoulders as he looked at her quizzically. 

“Well are you happy about it?” She asked, taking a small sip of the wine. Her fingers were tapping rhythmically against her thigh and something began to beep in the microwave. Oliver was about to go towards it but she waved him off.

“Of course I am! Oh, honey, he really is a nice guy. He’s even better in-”

“Please, for the love of God, don’t finish that sentence.”

Her mother chuckled. “Don’t be such a prude. But I was thinking about coming to visit soon and maybe with him as my plus one? I really think you’ll like him.”

“Oh, Mom, I don’t know….” A crease between her eyebrows began to form and she let out an exasperated sigh. She had to get out of this and fast. “You know what I just forgot about something for work. It’s due by morning and if I don’t get it in by then Mr. Palmer will have  a field day. I’m happy for you though.” Felicity took a rather large gulp of wine. “I’ll talk to ya tomorrow.”

A few more seconds passed and she finally hung up, tossing the phone onto the ground. She licked her lips slowly before her eyes connected with Oliver’s. The corner of her lips twitched up slightly and she pushed her glasses so they were resting on the top of her head. 

“People are frustrating.” She finally said. “And I’m not talking about you.”

Oliver smiled. “I didn’t think you were.”

She motioned to the phone. “That was my mother. She has a new boyfriend, says he’s ‘the one’ this time. I mean it must be good so far since nothing’s been stolen yet but who knows.” Her face was bent down which hid more of her features from him. So he didn’t even realize she was crying until he heard her voice. “And I can’t help thinking that it’s all a trap. What if it’s someone coming to get her and she doesn’t even know it? Even if I told her she wouldn’t take it seriously. She takes  _ nothing  _ seriously.”

Oliver knelt down beside her and frowned. He was about to say something when all the lights simultaneously cut out. Felicity immediately reached out towards him, her small hand wrapping around his bicep. Without even realizing it her nails dug into his skin as her heart began to race. She felt his body tense up and she was tempted to say his name, to bring attention to the fear she was currently experiencing. But that probably wasn’t in their best interest.

“What’s going on?” She said instead.

He hushed her and she could see him shaking his head ‘no’. There was a reluctance about him as he went to stand. She knew he didn’t want to leave her but it was in his nature to investigate, to eliminate the problem. Maybe there wasn’t even a problem. It could be an issue with the building, maybe a storm developed outside without her knowing. There were hundreds of possibilities and yet she knew it wasn’t any of them. Something was wrong. 

“Stay here.” His voice was rough and he pushed her further into the corner, as if she could absorb somehow into the cabinets. In the process her leg bumped the glass of wine and it spilled all over the area rug she had by the sink. “Sorry.” He muttered and then she watched his large, shadow-like form disappear into the living room.

For the next three minutes all Felicity could do was breathe. She counted her breaths, inhaled and exhaled like they taught her in those yoga classes last year. It was a calming mechanism, a tool used to reduce the anxiety that was slowly taking over her body. If she could settle her heart rate then maybe she could think more clearly. 

So she wouldn’t die out of stupidity.

She didn’t hear anything that would hint to a struggle. She barely heard Oliver’s footsteps. It was as if she was completely alone. She tried not to read too much into that and instead blamed it on whatever training he probably got. They taught him how to go unnoticed, to live in the shadows and to definitely  _ not  _ be heard. 

So it’d be fine.

Everything would be okay.

The lights slowly flickered back on and she blinked her eyes a few times to adjust to the sudden brightness. Felicity picked up the fallen wine glass and stood to place it on the counter. She was expecting to find Oliver in the living room, ready to yell at her about something because the power outage would  _ somehow _ be her fault. 

Instead she found a stranger. He was dressed in the same clothes Oliver used to come over in. The black leather and knee length black cloak, with a hood covering most of his features. Similarly he had a bow and arrow with it pointing not at her but at the hallway. She thought it was probably best not to move, that maybe he didn’t notice her even though she was directly in his line of sight. The darkness could have made her invisible.

Yeah, that’s it.

“What are you doing here?”

It was Oliver’s voice no doubt though she didn’t turn to see him. Her attention was directly solely on the intruder. He was probably tracking mounds of dirt onto the carpet, creating stains that would never come out. She was deciding to focus on the more trivial things and not her impending death. It made her feel as good as someone could in a situation like this.

“I should be asking you the same question.”

Oliver finally emerged from the hallway, holding his bow and aiming it directly at the man. She wondered where the hell that thing even came from. He didn’t come in with one but then again she didn’t see him come in. She hoped he wasn’t secretly storing that in her apartment and if he was she’d have a word with him about it later.

If she were here later.

“There’s no reason for your visit. What’s happened?”

“Lower your bow and we’ll talk.”

Oliver paused. “You first.”

“Are we really going to play this game? I’m your best friend, I deserve some trust.”

“Not when you work for them.”

“Maybe if you answered my calls from the past few months we wouldn’t be in this situation.”

Oliver’s bow didn’t wavered as he took a few steps forward. His eyes never went to Felicity and she couldn’t help but think how odd he looked. He was dressed like anyone else on the street yet he walked with such precision. His movements were calculated and the strength was practically radiating off of him. He was wearing a short sleeved shirt that night and she was just then noticing the coils of muscles that were wrapped around his arms. 

“What’s going on?”

She didn’t know what she should be doing. A part of her wanted to run down the hall into her room and lock herself in there for the rest of the night. The other, though, wanted to go right to Oliver. She wanted a signal, a hand motion, anything to let her know that it was okay. That she could waltz right over to him and they could all have a civil conversation together. 

In Felicity’s ideal world that already happened and she was eating the mint chip she had bought at the corner store earlier that day. The man and all danger was gone. It was just her and her TV and maybe Oliver if he got the wine stain out of her rug.

The man finally lowered his weapon and astonishingly let down his hood. She wasn’t surprised that he was extremely attractive. Wherever they were from it seemed to be a breeding ground for God-like men. He was older though, maybe ten years or so from Oliver. His skin tone was relatively darker and his voice was a few octaves lower. But he didn’t look as threatening and menacing as he first appeared to be. The friendship was evident between them and she could finally breathe normally when they came in the middle of the room to shake hands. 

“It’s good to see you.” Oliver said, though the tension hadn’t left his body.

“Can’t say the same for you. I’m looking at a dead man walking.” The man shook his head. “Makes me kind of sick.”

“Do we have to do this here?”

The man finally acknowledged Felicity, his eyes sliding to her form in the kitchen. He kind of shook his head and let out a breathy chuckle. It’s like he knew all the trouble they were in and how messed up the situation was. She felt uncomfortable under his scrutiny and shifted in her spot.

“Not if you don’t want to.”

“Did you come alone?”

“Yes.”

“Any chance of being followed?”

“There’s always a chance but in this case it’s highly unlikely.”

Oliver nodded his head. “Give me a minute.”

Felicity didn’t see the man leave, instead her attention was focused on Oliver. He had his lips pressed together and was lowering his bow when he said her name. His voice was softer than before, completely different than the tone from in the kitchen.

“You’re leaving.” She whispered and her nails began to dig into her palms.

Oliver walked slowly over to her and he seemed almost angry at first. His eyes were cold and the hard lines on his face made him appear threatening. She didn’t falter under his gaze though and stood tall, preparing herself for whatever he was going to say next. 

But what he did instead would forever surprise her.

He paused and (this seemed to be a split second decision) his thumb came up and stroked the side of her cheek. She was taken aback by not only the gesture but the tenderness it possessed. Just a few minutes ago he was about to put an arrow in the man from the living room. Just a few seconds ago his face looked like it could kill someone with one look. It happened so fast that it made her head spin.

Tears threatened to fall and she had to swallow the lump that formed in her throat because somehow it felt like a goodbye. She barely knew him but the thought of never seeing him again made her ache.

“I’m going to keep you safe.” He said instead.

Her head titled to the side in confusion, not understanding what he meant. “What are you trying not to say?”

“I don’t know when I’ll be back...but I don’t want you to worry about anything. It’s on me this time.” He kept stroking her cheek, as if he couldn’t get enough of the feel.

“That’s not really fair.”

“I don’t make the rules.” He smiled softly.

Felicity scoffed. “I beg to differ.”

“Just,” he swallowed hard and shifted his weight, “please be careful, okay? No dark alleys or late nights.”

“Okay,  _ boss _ .”

He shuffled closer and she thought if he came even an inch more she’d combust. “Hey, I’m only looking out for you.”

“I’m sure.”

A silence stretched between them and Felicity didn’t mind it until he finally separated himself from her. In that moment something overcame her that drove her to reach back and wrap her arms around his neck. The hug was probably overstepping a million boundaries and was no doubt completely inappropriate. She could only imagine the look on his face and he wasn’t returning it either.

Great.

Felicity began to pull away, her cheeks flushed in embarrassment when she felt his arms take hold of her. They nearly crushed her against him and she felt every rigid line of his body. His hands splayed across her back, digging into her skin slightly as he brought her in closer. Her face fell into the crook of his neck and she breathed him in slowly. It seemed like he was wearing some cologne and she wondered why she hadn’t noticed it before. She would have complimented him on it and then rambled on about God knows what but it would have made him smile. It seemed like every time she thoroughly embarrassed herself it got a laugh or two out of him. That made it only a little worth it.

Before they pulled away she leaned her lips down to his ear. “Please come back.”

He didn’t try to reassure her or promise her that he would. Instead he gave her hips a firm squeeze before pulling away.

Somehow in these past few moments their relationship shifted. She could see it in his eyes, could feel it in the way he looked at her. Things were different and she wasn’t sure how she felt about it all.

But she pushed the thoughts and warm feelings away. She could focus on all of that when he came back...if he came back. 

So she walked to the front hall, locked the door and tucked herself into bed, spending the rest of the night trying to fall asleep. 

 

-

 

Why Felicity thought he’d be back in a few days was beyond her. The very next night she waited up on the couch for him, trying to listen for the tell-tale signs of him outside her window and door. But as the hours and even days slowly ticked by, it became obvious that Oliver wasn’t returning any time soon.

She tried not to dwell on it and instead immersed herself in work and friends. The invitations she was given to join her co-workers on the weekends finally became appealing. And the ‘meaningless’ work Mr. Palmer kept piling on her desk she finally started to make a dent in. Besides the massive amount of coding, she found when she was with her friends she was able to forget about the man that came to her home every night. They were fun, interesting and full of life, something she never knew she was missing out on.

Ally, a girl she befriended quickly after the first night, stopped by her office regularly for lunch. Their conversations were always casual and light, nothing too serious or overstepping any boundaries. Felicity didn’t mind either. She was so tired of the hot, heavy, and life threatening. Instead she relished in discussing the latest sales at the mall and how condescending and pompous Mr. Palmer really was. 

She’s only met him a few times but more recently he’s been asking for her every week to give updates on the project. She didn’t understand why since she didn’t know the specific details of it. The whole thing’s been under lock and key, a new top secret project that Mr. Palmer doesn’t want leaking out into the public. It was probably a good thing that she didn’t know anything though. With her luck someone would merely ask how everything was going and the information would just gush out of her mouth like a waterfall.

Their meetings weren’t too long though so she didn’t really mind going. They’d be every Friday on her way back from lunch with Ally. At first they remained strictly business, only touching on the important parts of the project. But then she found them straying to more personal, less professional topics. 

He’d ask her how her day was going, what she was going to do later on. They’d start talking about the better restaurants nearby or some of the gossip going around the building. He’d crack a  joke every now and then that she found herself laughing at regardless of what it was about. She wanted to make a good impression on him, going along with whatever he seemed to want to discuss because he was her  _ boss.  _

Just when she was thinking she was getting somewhere with him, when she thought he was going to promote her or  _ something _ , everything went downhill.

Shocker. 

“He asked you  _ out _ ?” Ally exclaimed.

They were sitting at a booth in Big Belly Burger, waiting for their milkshakes when Felicity finally spilled the beans. It had been eating at her for the past few days, the entire awkward situation that should have gotten her demoted. Or even fired. It was just a mess.

“Why? How? When?” Ally shivered, a disgusted look crossing her features as she pressed Felicity for more information. 

Felicity honestly didn’t know how it even came up. They were in the middle of discussing a marketing strategy for some new software that was going to be released. Her head was dipped down to her tablet, swiping through different websites so she didn’t see him scootch over closer to her on the couch.   

“You were on the couch together? Oh, c’mon, Felicity!”

Then his hand came down on her knee and he whispered her name softly, catching her attention instantly. It reminded her of Oliver which made her heart clench and a lump rise up in her throat. It hadn’t hit her how much she missed him until then. She had been trying to mask it for so long as it was already over a month since he had left. Staring into the beautiful eyes of Ray Palmer only made her realize how much she wanted Oliver back.

“What are you doing later?” He asked, a smile gracing his lips. He gently pulled the tablet from her grip which made her scream internally because she focuses best with any sort of technology in her hands. Sure he probably meant well but it was obvious he didn’t know her.

_ At all. _

“Um...well I’m planning to finish up here and then I have to stop at the store. I just ran out of mint-chip and you really can’t survive without that so it’s on the top of my list. And-”

Ally stopped her. “Please tell me you didn’t keep talking after that and just declined.”

Felicity laughed. “That wouldn’t be me though, would it? I kept talking, went into a rant about ice cream, tampons and wine before he finally stopped me. Then he asked me to dinner and I’m pretty sure I stared at him blankly for thirty seconds before abruptly saying ‘no’ and bolting out of his office.”

All Ally could do was laugh. “So basically it was a disaster.”

“Basically.”

“Hey, you should be flattered though. Mr. Palmer wants a date with Felicity Smoak.”

That statement was all she could think about for the next few days. She tried her hardest to avoid Mr. Palmer at all costs and was thankful that she was eighteen floors under him. Not that she was under him like that but like her office was eighteen floors below him which makes it hard to run into him.

Not that it wasn’t enough that she had to avoid Mr. Palmer but she wasn’t sleeping either. The universe seemed to be gracing her with an endless string of nightmares, successfully preventing her from getting the five hours of sleep she needed in order to function properly. 

It wasn’t just once a week or every other day either. It was every night just a few hours before her alarm was supposed to go off. They all seemed to fit a similar pattern that left the blood pumping through her veins at an unnatural speed. She was pretty sure a few times she came close to a panic attack. 

They always seemed too real. There was nothing about these nightmares that possessed a dream-like quality that would make it easy to distinguish them from reality. Instead they were horrifyingly life-like, the faces and blood so tangible that when she woke up from them she didn’t even try to fall back asleep.

At first they were about her mother. There would be a call to Felicity’s apartment, telling her that they have her mother and to meet them at the docks downtown. She’d appear in a warehouse, darkness surrounding her until all she could make out was the face of her father. There were memories she’s held onto all her life of his face from when she was young. And they came flashing back in the nightmares. He’d have her mother by the throat, spewing out every insult she could possibly imagine. How they weren’t good enough, how little they meant to him and how he was glad he never stuck around for her. 

And then the only thing she would be able to see was blood. It’s gush out from her mother’s stomach, her mouth and even her eyes at one point. Her body would fall to the cement floor, lifeless and stiff, with the glaring red eyes looking straight at Felicity. The voice of her mother would echo throughout the warehouse, asking why she wasn’t able to save her. Before she would be able to answer she’d wake up with tears streaming down her face, her entire body shaking. 

They seemed to stay in that pattern until tonight, two months after Oliver’s disappearance, the dream changed. 

She was taken from her bed in the middle of the night from the stranger in the living room. His hand came around her throat and yanked her out from under the covers. He dragged her down the hall and into the living room where she found Oliver standing in the middle of.

He was dressed in his League attire with his bow perched up against him. The arrow was loaded and was pointing directly at her with an aim that would no doubt be successful. In the background she could hear a voice which she identified to be her father’s. He was giving orders out in a language she couldn’t understand nor interpret where it was from. It didn’t even seem to be a real dialect. But Oliver was responding to it, moving in closer on her as the stranger from behind her stood still so she couldn’t escape. 

“Oliver,” she whispered, not caring about the promise they made. There was murder in his eyes and she wanted desperately for it not to be directed at her. “Please.”

“My name is Al Sa-him.” His voice was barely recognizable. 

She could feel the tears stream down her face as she shook her head. She tried to move back on her arms, crawling in an attempt to get away. But he followed her, the arrow never leaving the direction of her heart. 

“Oliver.” She said again in a fruitless effort. 

“Kill her, Al Sa-him, finish the job.” Her father’s voice echoed throughout the living room.

Felicity squeezed her eyes shut, trying to block out whatever was going to happen next. Just when she thought it was over and the air settled around her, her eyes flew open.

The last thing she saw was the arrow flying through her heart and the small smile on Oliver’s face.

She woke up in a fit of tears and shaking limbs. She flicked ever light on imaginable and tried to steady her breathing. There was no chance in hell she was going back to sleep after that.

She ended up in the living room, sitting on the ground and leaning up against the coffee table. Her legs were tucked underneath her and she was scooping into a pint of mint-chip. It was freezer burnt and stuck to the top of her mouth but she ate it anyway. 

The TV was too loud but she didn’t bother to turn it down. It drowned out most of her thoughts and she lost herself in infomercials advertising new workout programs and kitchen appliances. Her hands were still shaking from the nightmare and every few minutes an image would flash through her mind making her flinch. She was tempted to drive around for a while, maybe call her mom just so she could talk to someone. She just felt alone.

And it was weird because it never bothered her this much before. She had grown accustomed to dinners of one and an entire queen bed to herself. It’s not that she didn’t date, she dated a lot. But they weren’t anyone she could picture a future with. So after a while she stopped trying, focused on work and figured the right man would come along eventually. Every now and then she’d take a blind date that someone begged her to go on. Those would end up alright surprisingly but never exactly how she wanted them to. Felicity supposed that not everything can turn out perfectly. Though she tried.

But it annoyed her because she knew the only reason why she felt this way was because of Oliver. She got used to his company and their talks. Despite the fact that he brought her the worst news of her life and he was originally supposed to  _ kill her _ , she hadn’t found him so bad. Oliver was kind, he was caring and he became her friend. There was something about him she couldn’t shake and she found herself getting more attached than expected. It shouldn’t have surprised her, though, that it ended so quickly.

Good things never stay.

And she was  _ so  _ not dwelling on their not-so-platonic hug before he left. She wasn’t thinking about how he felt pressed against her or how his eyes were black and full of heat. The touches and long looks, the whispers and pleas.

She wasn’t thinking about that _ at all _ .  

Felicity squeezed her eyes shut and she shoved another spoonful of ice cream into her mouth. She glanced at the time and saw it was just after three in the morning. If she didn’t go to bed soon then she’d never be able to get ready in time for work. Although calling in sick didn’t seem so bad because the thought of falling back asleep to a nightmare made her sick.

A warning flashed across the TV of dropping temperatures and high snow accumulation. A balding man in his late fifties came onto the screen, pointing to a map with a white blob on the middle of Starling City. He advised his viewers to take it easy in the morning, to stay home even, as there would be little to no visibility driving wise. Cancellations for schools and businesses came on a strip at the bottom of the screen and the next infomercials began. 

Felicity sighed and leaned back against the couch. That has it, she’s not going in. She could get everything done from home and it didn’t require killing herself over an ice patch on the sidewalk. 

She was about to change the channel when the lights flickered and the TV turned off. Her hand froze on the remote, eyes wide in the suffocating darkness. All she could hear was the howling wind outside as it slammed against her very unlocked windows. 

With a racing heart and wobbly legs Felicity slowly stood up. The lamp next to the couch kept flickering before finally dying out. The only light was from the street lamps outside and the stark white of the snow which illuminated the room. She quickly shuffled over to the windows and pulled the latches on each of them, securing her home once and for all. 

She put her ice cream away, set the remote back on the coffee table and went back to her room. A tiredness was forming behind her eyes and she figured she could kill some time on her tablet. Eventually her mind would wander and she’d fall asleep. Hopefully a blank mind would rid of her of the dreams.

What Felicity didn’t realize was she left her bedroom window unlocked. So when she went into her room she didn’t notice the stranger lurking in the shadow of the closet door. Nor did she hear him come up behind her. She only realized the intruder when she felt his hand brush her arm.

She let out a shrill scream, shoving the stranger away from her as hard as she could. He didn’t let go though. His hand wrapped around her forearm and he yanked her back but with not much force. It was only when she heard her name in that familiar, rough voice that she went slack in his arms. 

“ _ Felicity _ .”

Her arms wrapped instantly around his neck and he wasted no time in winding his arms around her waist. He held her tight against him, breathing her in and whispering her name over and over again. It was as if he thought he’d never say her name again. That he’d never  _ see  _ her again. He was looking at her like he thought she’s been dead for the past month instead of living her life like he told her to.

“ _ Oliver _ .” She didn’t care that she was breaking her promise. She was just so  _ freaking  _ happy that he was back and not lying in a ditch somewhere like she imagined. That meant that it was okay. Everything was okay because he was back.

He let out a low groan and as she pulled away from her she noticed he was wincing. She was about to ask him what was wrong when she noticed a stickiness on her hands and clothes. With further inspection she discovered it was blood.

He was covered in blood.

Felicity gasped, stepping away from him almost instantly. All she could see was the nightmare. Was this some sort of sign? Was her father going to pop out from the shadows with a bow and tell him to finish the job? Was her mother lying dead somewhere in a warehouse for her to find later?

She tried to shake her thoughts away, pinning it all on a coincidence and focused on Oliver. Her immediate concern was if he it was his blood or not. By the way he was standing and the look in his eyes she guessed at least half of it was his. She gripped his arms tightly, trying to make him look at her so she could ask him what was wrong. But he kept murmuring her name like a prayer. His eyes were glassed over and he didn’t seem to be all there. It had her heart beating wildly in fear.

“What happened?” She whispered, letting him pull her closer.

“I kept you safe.” He said softly against her ear. “I kept you safe.”

Her stomach plummeted and she felt the bile rise up in her throat. She never wanted it to come down to this. Whatever happened, whatever he had to do, she didn’t want him coming back looking like his very soul was ripped from his body. She wasn’t worth the pain he had to endure.

“Oliver,” she whispered again, hoping the sound of his name would ground him more. 

It was a relief to see his eyes focus back on hers, like he was finally snapping back into reality. His whole body stiffened and the grip he had on her tightened. Her name slipped from his lips and he looked around the room frantically, blinking his eyes to adjust to the darkness. 

Then he let her go.

“Are you okay?” He asked, his eyes searching her for any sign of injury. 

The distance between them began to increase as he ran a hand through his hair. She could see his chest heaving and the small amount of light in the room illuminated the sheen of sweat collecting on the side of his face. His eyes were blown wide and there was something feral about them as he backed up to the foot of the bed. She noticed his thumb and pointer finger rubbing together anxiously as he attempted to slow his breathing. He knew the crippling anxiety that was slowly overtaking his body and it amazed her that he was actually trying to calm himself down.

She was unsure whether or not to approach him. It was like looking at a caged animal, trapped in the corner of his cell as the humans slowly began to encroach upon him. She knew he’d never hurt her, was certain of it, but she also didn’t want him to do any damage to himself or anything around him. It seemed like saying his name brought him back but now he was in a state of pure panic. She already caused him enough pain, she didn’t want to add to it.

“I need you,” he gasped, squeezing his eyes shut as he continued speaking. “I need you to talk.”

“W-what?” Felicity sputtered out.

“Something, anything, to get my mind clear. Your voice,” he took a deep breath, “I know your voice will do it.”

“Um...anything?”

He nodded frantically.

“Okay, okay.” Felicity nodded to herself and stayed rooted in her position, her gaze never leaving Oliver’s. “Um...well nothing really exciting has happened to me. Everything’s pretty much stayed the same. But I fixed that loose tile in the kitchen, the one that always shifts when you step on it. I asked some guy at the hardware store down the street because it was just ticking me off. So now it’s smooth walking.” She laughed weakly and was relieved to see a small smile playing on his lips. “Work’s been the same too. Mr. Palmer has me on this new project that literally has me checking everyone’s work. It’s like he knows I’m good but doesn’t trust me to do  _ anything _ . Sometimes I just want to march up to his stupid, fancy office and shove my resume in his face, you know? And it probably doesn’t help that he asked me out and I totally rejected him. So on top of that I’ll probably be getting fired.”

Oliver swallowed hard and took a few deep breaths before speaking. “He asked you out?” His voice sounded more even, less rough and shaky. It was reassuring to say the least. She also could detect a hint of jealousy which she wanted to fist pump too but didn’t find it appropriate given the circumstances. 

“Yeah he did the whole get-to-know-you thing first and just dropped the bomb on me. Not to mention he totally confiscated my tablet in order to ask the question which didn’t fly well with me.” She told him, the frustration filling her once again at the memory.

“What an awful human being.” Oliver joked, pushing himself off from the headboard. He began walking towards her, his breathing more calm compared to before. He seemed better, looked better even. The color was coming back to his face and there were no pending signs of a freak out.

Her eyes instantly went to his blood soaked clothes, still wondering if he was injured at all. He seemed to be fine, walking with only a limp and having minor cuts and scrapes on his face. She wanted to throw him on the bed and examine every inch of him to be sure of it though. 

“Oh you do?”

Felicity nearly choked. “I said that out loud.”

He chuckled softly and hummed out a reply. As he got closer she noticed the sweat dripping down the side of his face and how he was still slightly out of breath. 

“I meant platonically and for injuries because I’m almost positive you’re bleeding out.”

He was getting closer. “I’m not bleeding out.”

“That’s good.” She sucked in a breath as he became only a foot away. “Are you feeling better?”

His hand came up and brushed her cheek, amazement dancing in his eyes. “You’re remarkable. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“I just did what you asked.” She said nonchalantly. 

“It was more than that.”

She felt the flush spreading over her cheeks and she looked down to the floor. “Are you sure you’re not bleeding out?”

“Positive.”

“Well,” she stepped back from him. “Maybe you should get cleaned up then. I’ll get a bandage for your face.”

“It’s not necessary.”

She shook her head and sighed in exasperation. “Shut up.”

“I’m being serious, Felicity.”

“Yeah well you don’t get a say.”

He raised an eyebrow. “No?”

“Nope.”

“May I ask why?” There was a slight edge to his voice.

“Sure.” Felicity shrugged her shoulders. “You don’t get a say because you left for... _ a long time _ ...showed up at my place after no contact for that long, covered in blood may I add, and then literally had a panic attack in my bedroom. You don’t get a say because you’re not fine. I’m not fine. Nothing’s fine right now. So you’re going to go get cleaned up and I’m going to dig out the first-aid kit and we’re going to talk. Got it?”

It took him a few seconds but he finally nodded.

“Good.”

They went their separate ways and met back twenty minutes later in her bedroom. She wondered, as she began organizing her medical supplies, how this became their meeting place. Silently she kept scanning her room, looking for anything that should definitely  _ not  _ be in plain sight. From what she saw all dirty underwear and bras were put away and there was nothing criminalizing that was sticking out to her. 

He came out of her bathroom in a new pair of jeans and a black t-shirt. Honestly, she had no idea where he got those clothes. For all she knew he could have had them stashed somewhere in her apartment. But she didn’t ask because frankly she didn’t want to know. Why would it matter? At least the blood was gone.

His hair was wet and he shook it out a little like a dog coming out from a day in the rain. It stuck up in various places and she had to suppress a giggle as he attempted to smooth it down. She was trying to keep most of her anger at bay so all of her arguments would run strong. So laughing was really not in her best interest. 

“Sit down.” She motioned to her bed and started soaking a cotton ball in an antiseptic wash.

Oliver complied easily and sat stock still on the mattress. The whole thing nearly dipped down and sent half of her supplies onto the floor. Even as they spilled he remained still, waiting for her to clean up the now small looking gash on his forehead. He may have been right about the being ‘fine’ part but she wasn’t going to tell him that. He at least needed a few butterfly bandages.

“This may sting.” She warned him, hesitating a little before she began to dab it.

“I’ll live.” He murmured.

Felicity completed her work in silence, concentrating completely on the task. Oliver didn’t bother her with small talk or even the real talk that she knew needed to happen. A part of her was grateful because she wouldn’t know how much she’d be able to get done if she was yelling at him half the time. 

But as the silence stretched she began to rethink her anger. Was she really entitled to it? Why did she even care so much? He left, big deal. The important thing was that he came back. That had to mean something.

She sighed softly to herself and pinched her lips together, feeling herself getting worked up again. It hurt that he left. It hurt because he meant something to her. As a friend and then at the end something she wasn’t exactly sure what to label as. How could she blame him for that though?

“I can practically hear you thinking.”

“Cover your ears then.”

Felicity finished the bandage and stepped back to admire her work. It wasn’t perfect but she bet it was better than anything Oliver was going to do for himself. 

After she cleaned up her supplies she took a seat next to him. He was looking off at something on the other side of the room. There was that same look in his eyes as before and it made her heart plummet. She wasn’t sure if she could bring him out a second time so instead of calling for his attention she waited. His thumb and middle finger were rubbing together again but his breathing was still even. She took that as a good sign. 

Felicity readied herself to speak first but he beat her to the punch.

“I’ve done a lot of things for a lot of people. I can’t say I’m proud of any of them but they were necessary for the lives of those I cared about. I’m not a good person and I don’t think there will ever be anything to redeem me. And I’ve made my peace with that.” He refused to look her way and his body was completely rigid. “But what’s happened in the past few months has gotten me into the dangerous territory of rethinking all of that. For some reason you,” his eyes connected with hers, “make me want to change it all around. When I found you that night it amazed me because you were the first person I could actually see as a  _ person _ . You’ve given me the courage to do something I could only dream about. For that I thank you.”

Her stomach was twisting and she tilted her head to the side in confusion. He wasn’t making any sense and she was afraid of where this conversation was going. 

“What did you do?” She whispered, sitting down carefully next to him.

He placed his hand on her knee. “I kept everyone I cared about safe. I protected those that mattered.”

Her eyes scanned his face. “But you sacrificed.”

“I got my freedom back. I’d do it a million times over if I was given this same result.”

“You broke away-”

“From the League.” Oliver finished for her. “What was holding me to them was no longer valid as of two weeks ago. They failed and there was no reason for me to be with them. I always thought that I’d stay with them regardless because I never had anything else. I never thought there’d be something to come back to after all of this. But there has to be, right? Once I get her back, everything will be as it was. I can come back.”

Her heart sank at the mention of another girl. She tried to focus her eyes on him, tried to feel happy that he finally seemed to get exactly what he’s wanted. But she couldn’t help feel a little slighted. Sure she gave him hope but was that it? Now she’s tossed to the side?

_ Thanks Felicity for giving me courage...have a nice life _ .

It made her cringe.

She didn’t want to ask him anything more. In fact she was waiting for him to give her a friendly hug and bolt out the window in search of his new life. He’ll probably run off into the sunset with that  _ girl _ and she’ll never hear from him again. 

“That’s great.” She whispered and winced at the way her voice broke.

His fingers gripped her chin and tilted it up so she was looking at him. She saw how his eyes grew darker and his jaw muscles clenched as he held her gaze. She wondered if this was the goodbye.

“I’ve done everything in my power over the past few weeks to get everyone and anyone off your trail. As far as I know, no one knows of your existence here in Starling City. You’re perfectly safe.”

She felt as though there was some hidden message behind those words. He kept looking at her, hoping she could pick something out from the very simple string of words he just spoke to her. It was like he wanted to tell her something more but wouldn’t or...maybe couldn’t? 

_ I kept everyone I cared about safe. I protected those that mattered. _

Oh. 

It hit her like a ton of bricks and had a warm feeling spread into her stomach. She probably shouldn’t be feeling this was and it probably shouldn’t be making her the happiest girl in Starling City but it was. For all she knew he could be referring to his feelings for her as something close to a sister. With her luck she was but she couldn’t find it in herself to care. 

“Why me?” She finally asked, making it a point not to look at him. Her head was turned away from him and the whole contact between them was his hand that was still very much on her knee.

“What kind of question is that?” 

“It’s a valid question.”

“It’s more ridiculous than valid.”

“Fine.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “Don’t answer it for all I care.”

“Oh I’m going to answer it.” He murmured, his voice husky and extremely low all of the sudden. “Although I feel like no matter what I say you won’t take a liking to the answer.”

She rolled her eyes and scooted up further onto the bed, crossing her legs like she did when she was a child. “Well that’s a big assumption.” She muttered.

His smile faded slowly as a more serious expression took over his features. She felt the bed move as he angled himself so he was facing her once again. The air between them seemed to shift and his knee softly brushed hers. They were becoming increasingly closer and she noticed then that they were on a bed. Her bed.

Why couldn’t this conversation occur in her living room?

“I can’t form the right words to answer your question properly. I have no idea why you’ve made an impression on me or why I can’t seem to help myself from coming back to you. I’m no good and whatever follows me can’t possibly benefit you.”

She said nothing in protest and she could see the surprise in his eyes though he continued talking.

“But I can’t stop. I’d do anything to protect you, Felicity. You mean something to me and I want you to know that.”

Felicity felt her heart stop and combust all in the same moment. It was nice to know that her feelings weren’t one sided, that whatever this was she wasn’t alone in it. But it didn’t seem like he was willing to go past where they were now. There was a sadness lurking in the depth of his blue eyes that reassured her thinking. He made no move to touch her, to bring her closer like they were before. The small confession which seemed to holding so much more was now released and he was reluctant to move forward. A part of her was sorely disappointed but the other part was slightly thankful. Just because he defined his feelings didn’t mean hers were all sorted out too.

“I missed you.” She said instead of responding. She thought that was a good enough alternative to whatever garbage her mouth would have spewn out.

He smiled softly and she ignored the fact that it didn’t reach his eyes. “I missed you too.”

A yawn escaped her lips and she remembered before he came she wanted to try and sleep. His eyes fluttered over her face and he frowned, his hand coming up to cup her face. The last time he had used the gesture he was saying goodbye. A jab shot through her heart and she tried to ignore the way it affected her.

“Why were you up in the first place?”

“It doesn’t matter.” She whispered, shaking her head. 

“Felicity-”

“I just couldn’t sleep. It’s no big deal.”

He didn’t believe her for a second, she knew, but he chose to drop the subject. His hand fell away from her face and they sat for a moment in silence. Instead of leaving like he always did at the end of their talks, he stayed rooted in his spot.

“Do you want to go to sleep?” He asked.

She bit her lip and looked down to the sheets. “Not really.” 

It was like he knew about her nightmares, about everything she experienced in the months that he was away. An understanding passed between them and with no discussion he grabbed her hand and they walked silently into the living room. Oliver turned on the TV while Felicity grabbed the blanket she used earlier. She draped it over herself, offering some to Oliver which he declined as usual. 

But instead of sitting on either side of each other Felicity leaned into him. Her head rested against his shoulder as he flipped through the channels, finally settling on a movie whose beginning credits were just starting to roll. 

There was no touching except for him being her shoulder rest. He kept his hands in his lap and she kept hers wrapped around the blanket. She felt her eyes start to grow tired and she could no longer fight to keep them open. As she slipped away she found she no longer feared of nightmares, knowing they wouldn’t come now that he was there. 

Before she slipped away she buried her face deeper in the blankets and tried to get more comfortable on his shoulder. She felt his arm slip around her and she hoped he’d be there when she woke up in the morning.

 

-

 

Felicity blinked her eyes open upon hearing her name being called. Someone was shaking her shoulders, whispering her name over and over until she couldn’t take it anymore. 

_ I’m not Felicity,  _ she wanted to say,  _ I’m tired so let me go back to sleep. _

But it wouldn’t let up. When she opened her eyes she saw Oliver’s face hovering over hers, concern plain in his eyes. He was already dragging her up, talking a mile a minute as she slowly became aware. 

“Felicity, are you listening?”

She yawned, stretching her arms up to the ceiling. There was a kink in her neck and her back was already starting to hurt. He kept asking her the same question which caused her to snap at him.

“No, I’m not listening.” She grumbled, rolling her eyes as she tried to get away from her. All she wanted was some coffee and a few more hours to rest her eyes.

“Felicity, we have to go.”

“Go where?” She mumbled.

He pulled her against him quickly, angling her face so she was staring right into her eyes. He was all business, strictly professional and as serious as she could have ever imagined him to be. It was like bumping a bucket of cold water right over her.

“Do you trust me?”

There was no hesitation in her answer. “Of course.”

“Then we have to go. Now.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
